Monday, February 05, 2007

Even More Random Bullshit

Well, remember when I was bitching because they never closed school when I was in Madison?

Apparently they've done it now. It's -30 there. My friend Dan says his dog's eyes are freezing shut when he takes him for a walk.

My eternal question: Why haven't you moved, Danny Boy?

And yes, the Colts won yesterday. Let's all just shut the hell up and move on, shall we? Congrats, Lora. The game was pretty weak. I mean, my wife and I both like football, but by the 4th quarter I was asleep and she was knitting.

Some may be wondering why I haven't posted anything about the Great Lite-Brite Scare of 2007. I have abstained because it makes me too angry to think coherently. If you think Oprah Winfrey, government budget cuts and the weather make me rant and swear uncontrollably... brother, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

Let's just say this: It fucked up traffic for hours, made our esteemed mayor look like an asshole, and made me hate the world for a little while. But the guys responsible are hysterically funny, so at least we've got that going for us. Anyway, Chez at Deus Ex Malcontent posted more cleverly than I was able to about, so read his thoughts here. And for more on the culprits heroes of the day, click on Matt's piece here. Assuming you can get past his rampant, deviant pseudo-intellectualism.

That's gotta break my record for links in a post. Man, I'm tired.

Finally, some video. I never thought I'd ever post a video of a commercial, but this is probably my all-time favorite. I saw it once years ago, and never saw it again. It was almost an urban legend for a while. But thanks to the wonders of Youtube, here it is, making with the funny. One word of caution - for some reason, this clip is kind of loud.

"itchy rashes, full body hair loss, projectile vomiting, gigantic eyeball, the condition known as 'hot dog fingers,' children born with the head of a golden retriever, seeing the dead, bone liquification, possession by the Prince of Darkness, tail growth, elderly pregnancy..."



Garrett Reid said...

Man, linking makes me tired too. So I don't do it much. However, it really is a public service to people and a nice thing to do. You are saying, "hey, I went to the trouble of entering in some code-bullshit so you can go straight to this page rather than cutting and pasting a link. I am a super-fantastic guy." But you get very little credit for offering this public service. So, allow me thank you TK. Thanks for taking the time to link, so I can easily navigate the world wide web. You are a super-fantastic guy.

TK said...

Garrett, we're a full-serve operation over here at Uncooked Meat. It's just a part of our duty to help out the working man, the people of the land. To assist the common clay. Them, and the chronic masturbators and pederasts like yourself.

I kid, I kid. I don't give a shit about the working man.

A Bowl Of Stupid said...

For some reason, I like "hot dog fingers" the most out of all of the conditions. You can just visualize the writers brain-storming the ad content.