Monday, February 12, 2007

Random bullshit strikes again

Several fun things have happened recently, but not all of them are worth writing about.

I helped a friend move on Saturday, which was the most fun I've ever had participating in such a thing. It helped that we were drunk for the bulk of it. And that a friend got us uniforms. I might post the pictures later, for sheer comedic value. We look like either action heroes or a traveling circus band.

Like this. But juuust a little different.

Friday night I saw Letters From Iwo Jima, which is absolutely amazing. Fuckin' Clint Eastwood is ambitious as hell, but damn if it didn't pay off. It gives a stunning glimpse into what life was like for "real" Japanese soldiers during WWII, showing them as something beyond crazy kamikaze samurais. It shows them as real people, and it's not always easy to watch. And the Battle of Iwo Jima is a fascinating, amazing, and sad moment in the war.

I also rented a couple movies yesterday, to recuperate from the drunken moving: Miami Vice and The Descent.

Miami Vice was unbelievably disappointing. I'm a big Michael Mann fan, and while I'm ok with the idea of de-cheesing the series, updating it for modern times - I'm not a fan of simply making it boring. And sadly, that's what it was. Plodding and uninteresting. Sad, really. Two more things: did we really need two shower scenes with Foxx and Farrell (I mean separate. They weren't showering together). And, for fuck's sake, take off the damn sunglasses.

The Descent is awesome. It's a great turn-the-lights-out horror movie. Filmed with almost no artificial light, only the flashlights of the spelunkers, it's an amazing feat. Well acted, by a group of women I've never heard of. It is, at times, brutal. B-r-u-t-a-l. Get the one with the UK ending, and it will blow you away. And make sure you have decent surround sound - since so much of it is in darkness, having good sound is vital to the experience. It's directed by Neil Marshall, who did the underrated, clever and very fun Dog Soldiers*. Give that a shot too, it's a werewolf movie, but one of the few recent good ones.


Finally, Thursday night was when I realized my job isn't always that great. My phone rang at 3:00 in the morning. I answered, and:

Caller: Mr. TK?
TK: mmmf
Caller: This is the answering service. I have Police and Fire on the line, there's an emergency at one of the developments and they require access.
TK: mmmf... ok.
Caller: Can you call them back when you've dispatched someone with an ETA?
TK: You got it.

Now. I don't know about you, gentle reader, by I am absolute luggage at 3:00 AM. Especially in a crisis situation. So I stumble out of my room, stagger down the stairs, and then... I think I blacked out. Then I realized that I am standing in my study, in nothing but boxers, carrying my cell phone, with the back door to the yard open. And I have no idea what I am doing. Nor do I have any clue what I'm supposed to do. I'm literally completely bewildered. I'm like George Bush at the State of the Union.

Like this. But nekkid. And darker. And sleepy.

Finally I realize I need to get a night crew guy on the phone. So I stagger out to my car (in boxers, in 20 degree weather), grab my phone list, stagger back in, call the guy, drag his ass out of bed (sorry!) and send him in. Call the cops back, mumble my way through some instructions, and collapse.

Fun stuff.

* Incidentally, in case anyone cares: There have been exactly six good werewolf movies in the last 30 years: An American Werewolf in London, The Howling, Brotherhood of the Wolf (or Le Pacte Des Loupes), Wolfen, Ginger Snaps, and Dog Soldiers. Seriously. That's it.


A Bowl Of Stupid said...

A few things:

1. Hey, whassup kid?

2. Costumes? Riiiiight.

2. Yes, Miami Vice was a utter and complete disappointment, and one is stunned how Foxx won an Oscar after watching his performance in this movie. Period. End of story.

3. I'd forgotten about "Letters," thanks for reminding me. I'm gonna see it ASAP.

4. I've heard mixed things about The Descent, but I'll check it out. Thanks for the heads up.

4. If you ever, EVER compare yourself to our crackhead president again, regardless of what state of disrepair you may be in, I will have no other choice but to drive up to the frozen tundra of Massachusetts and strangle you with my bare hands - because that's what friends do.

5. I'm gonna have to add "Underworld" to the werewolf movies. Although the plot is weak and the acting sucks, Kate Beckinsale spends the entire movie in a tight leather jumpsuit (*shudder*). With that alone, you can turn the volume off and it's STILL a great movie in my book.

6. "ywgxhbip".

A Bowl Of Stupid said...

Having watched Sesame Street for many many years, I am indeed a big fan of the numbers 2 and 4, as well as the letters "J" and "R."

However, I meant to actually number those last points sequentially from 1-8. If you can fix that so I don't look like a bigger dunce than I already am, that would be great, okay?

And don't forget we're using those new cover sheets on all TPS reports.

TK said...

1. Not much. Wuzzup witchoo?

2. Sadly, I never turned on comment moderation, so you're fucked. People who read this blog now think you're a moron. Sorry.

3. I regret to inform you that Underworld, despite the hotness of K-Beck (as the cool kids call her), is unforgivably bad. It cannot be included. Your nominating it has resulted in a re-education squad being dispatched to your house. Please answer the door. Now.

4. Don't get The Descent mixed up with The Cave, which is the other "cave explorers encounter monsters" movie. The Cave is... well, let's just say not as good.

5. I didn't say costumes. I said UNIFORMS. There's a difference.

6. Seriously. Answer the fucking door.

Maxine Dangerous said...

Your caption under the George W. Fuckface photo made me laugh snort out loud. And since I'm supposed to be working and NOT reading TK's blog, I tried to make it sound like I'd coughed. Which sounded different than my laugh snort. Since they ARE different. Just wanted you to know what lengths I go through to when reading your blog. :D

TK said...

And don't you think I don't appreciate it, Maxine.