Friday, January 30, 2009

Stay Away

IM debacle that just took place between me and Ervie, who is contributing to an upcoming piece for Pajiba Music:
me: well, allow to toss another wrench into them there works
(allow ME)
Ervie: okay.
11:39 AM me: guitar solos? yay or nay? no big deal either way, but I need something done today.
Ervie: oh, fuck...
me: holy fuck. that was some no shit rhyming
Ervie: indeed!
me: anyway
Ervie: gimme a little bit.
me: i can't stop!
11:40 AM Ervie: I can pull it together.
me: THIS IS SO... GAY!
kill me
Ervie: to-DAY?
me: GAH!
Ervie: in what way?
just kill or slay?
11:41 AM Ervie: please god go away
this is totally going on the blog

Yeah, so... not getting a lot done today.


Now playing: R.L. Burnside - Please Don't Stay
via FoxyTunes

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Glam metal and porn!

As usual, just a quick update:

First, please read the companion piece to last week's The Golden Age of Metal on Pajiba. Here it is, The Dark Age of Metal. Look upon it, and tremble...

And just for ha ha's: PG Porn!


Ah, Nathan Fillion. Is there anything you can't do?

Now playing: Mr. Bungle - The Girls Of Porn
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Metal Militia!

I wrote an entire article on heavy metal from 1983-1991.

I probably should see some sort of specialist. Anyway, here it is.

Rock on.

Now playing: A Static Lullaby - Everybody's Got a Lil' Fonz n' em
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Whole lotta stuff goin' on

So I'll be brief.

Today has been a shit day because everyone is stupid. Everyone. Yes, you too. I'm literally blaming every single person on the planet for being stupid. I hate you all.

Not you, honey.


Couple of things: My five favorite albums of 2008 (with five runners-up) are here.

At 4:30, I reviewing a completely insane, ridiculous, yet hilariously amusing album at Pajiba. So check back then. Oh, and Sean reviewed the new Fall Out Boy here. That will be the last time that band is mentioned here, I promise. It's a damn good review though.

Back to contemplating murder. Later.

Listening to: Fucked Up - Crooked Head
via FoxyTunes

Friday, January 09, 2009

Hilarity ensues

Maybe it's just me. I dunno, you guys be the judge. But I was at my friendly neighborhood Eastern Mountain Sports last night (so! much! gear!.... thatiwantbutdon'tneed) and had to use their restroom after a day of waaaaaay too much coffee. Anyway, posted above the urinal is this sign:

I literally cackled while peeing, which was strange and uncomfortable and kind of almost messy. There is so much awesome in this one simple sign that I don't know how to begin. But I shall try:

1) That second sentence - I mean, damn. I thought that I overused the comma, but she is being flat-out abused there.

2) So, basically, this is telling us that we should not drink water from this toilet. Or any toilet in this facility (aka the Patriot Place Mall in Foxboro, MA).

... This is something that required notification? Does that imply that it's perfectly acceptable to drink from the toilet anywhere else? Just not here? Are fucking dogs shopping here?

3) In addition to the solid recommendation that we not drink the toilet water, they also suggest (rather passively I might add) that we avoid touching the toilet water. Thank God, because usually I head into a public restroom and promptly wash my face in the toilet. WHAT THE HELL, PEOPLE?!

4) The Department Environmental Protection Policy Code is "BRP/DWM/PEP-POO-3." Seriously? The code for "don't drink or bathe in the toilet, you filthy bugger" ends in "PEP-POO"?? Say that out loud.

Now do it without giggling.

If you succeeded, you are far more mature than I am.

I love that, as a society, we need to be warned that we shouldn't drink or touch the toilet water because it's recycled water... not because IT'S FUCKING TOILET WATER YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG!!!!!!


Anyway, I had to share.

Listening to: Drive-By Truckers - Why Henry Drinks
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, January 08, 2009


I was going to make a new years resolution to get back to more blog posts this year, but we all know that'd be a fucking lie.


Here's a rundown of the best-selling albums of 2008. Approximately 50% of them are absolute bloody shitballs. The remaining 5 are somewhere between "not awful" and "sort of decent."

This is why I disdain the radio so. Also, why I hate humans. Seriously, what the fuck, people? What the hell are you listening to? Where did you learn that listening to Taylor Swift is acceptable? I mean, I get that I'm kind of a pretentious dick when it comes to music, but I genuinely like some pop music. But every year, I get more and more irate with the big names in popular music. And that's because people buy their albums. Which means I get more and more irate with people.

Hence, I don't like people.

But you all knew that.

Hey, you know what sucks? Buying a brand new, awesome bike in the middle of winter. I'm really enjoying sitting in my study and gazing at it adoringly, then looking outside at six inches of snow and cursing profusely.

Ah well. I'll get my outdoors fix on this weekend when I go hiking.

So, enough ramble. Hope you're all doing well. Was this the first post of the new year? I forget, and I'm too lazy to check. If it is, happy new year. If it's not, go screw.

Peace out!