Week in review (now, with 70% less rage!)

OK, enough of this maudlin crap. I'm determined to get out of the funk I was in a couple of days ago. So here's some fun stuff that happened this week:

• I found out I'm probably going to need knee surgery!

Oh. Shit. Yeah, that sucks too. And my knee hurts like you wouldn't believe. Let me try again.

• I agreed to go visit my in-laws next week!

Motherfucker. OK, I'll give it another shot. Note: I love my in-laws. I do. It's just... well, visiting them for five days? I mean, they can be a lot of fun. They can also be totally boring. And yes, I just totally used totally that way. Go screw. But at least I'll get to see some of my Philly friends, which is awesome. Because while I don't particularly miss the Illadelph, I do miss some of the very good friends I left behind when I returned to Boston. Even if they don't visit because they're lazy pricks. I'm looking at you, Ben.

Even better, I'll get to see my boy Bill, who, despite being a total weirdo, is a great friend. He was one of the guys I went on a Vegas trip with last year. We used to work together (he didn't get laid off). And, he is dating (and living with) a stripper. Which is simultaneously awesome, creepy, sad and full circle to awesome again. And knowing Bill, we will spend an entire day roaring drunk, watching football, while he bitches about the loss of Iverson and I bitch about the Celtics looking like the JV squad at a school for retarded kids. Then we'll argue about who was better all-time, Wilt Chamberlain or Larry Bird. Then I will punch Bill in his bitch-ass mouth. Kidding. Sadly, only about that last part.

If I'm extra-special super-duper lucky, I'll get to go visit my wife's grandmother. She's really a lovely woman. If by lovely woman, you mean nasty, unpleasant bigot who once called me "one of the nice ones". She also sometimes calls me Ian. My name is not Ian. Nor has it ever been in the TWELVE YEARS (dating and marriage) that I've known my wife. Next time she does it I'm calling her Leroy. Oddly, I think she genuinely likes me. I just think she'd like me more if I was white. And I'd like her more if she was -

• I finished watching Season One of The Wire. Seriously. Stop what you're doing, stop reading this, and go rent/buy these DVD's. Trust me. I'm not joking. Stop fucking reading and go get them. It's hands down the best show on TV.

OK. Are you back? Did you finish them? That was quick. Pretty damn good, huh. Yeah, who loves you?

Anyway, not to cut this off abruptly but I gotta go. I'll probably post something tomorrow. Have a good night, kids.