Friday, August 03, 2007

Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you sit this next one out, stop talking for a while.

Well, I suppose there was enough interest in yesterday's awesome comment section to warrant an explanation as to how the word "gangbang" made it into my meeting yesterday...

It was a meeting about community-police relations. The city councilor was recommending that after a major crime (murder or rape), the Police Dept. hold a meeting in the affected neighborhood. I was opposed, seeing as it provides no value other than to reassure the neighborhood and give them an opportunity to bitch at the cops. It's time the cops could better spend, oh, solving crime. So I said...

Well, as long as we understand that a meeting like this serves no practical purpose other than to placate the neighborhood residents. My fear is that this will turn into a giant gangbang where everyone teams up on the police... what?
stunned silence, horrified stares
Oh. Did I just...? Uh... can we just pretend that last 30 seconds didn't happen?

However. I stand by my stance, if not the exact wording. It's a stupid idea. The city I work in is a relatively low-crime city, so when a "serious" crime is committed, some people completely freak out, and frequently blame the police department. Which is idiotic. If some guy shoots his wife, or some moron stabs a kid in an alley, it's not the fault of the police. And frequently, the cops have little to work with (no witnesses, little cooperation or communication from the neighbors). While I certainly agree that there are a number of lazy, useless cops out there, I hate to see people get on their case for circumstances beyond their control.

Now, had I said that, my argument may have had more validity to it. Instead, everyone stared at me like I had taken my dick out in the middle of a meeting.

Also, I have now used the words "murder", "rape", "gangbang"," fuck", "bitch", "cops", and "stabs" in the last two posts, in the last 36 hours. Not to mention the phrase "shoots his wife". Great. Now I'm really gonna draw some freaks. They're going to make the rest of you look like a church group.

PS - I finally broke up with Hotmail . If anyone wants to email me, send mail to
uncooked.meat [at]



Lauren said...

Are you saying we DON'T look like a church group now??? O:) Although, I must say how impress it is that you have managed to fit ALL of those into your posts legitimately!

Lora_3 said...

But did they understand your point?

Be safe...

New Texan said...

Actually, a giant tension-breaking gangbang might be exactly what the affected neighborhood needs after a violent crime.

You should run for mayor!

Redhead said...

Is it wrong that I still don't see anything wrong with your choice of words?

Oh and count yourself lucky - thanks to my porn post I ended up on some Web site called 'masturbation links' - I can't tell you how many people get sent to my poor blog expecting...well, not what they get.

girl with curious hair said...

I read yesterday's story in Sky Harbor, in line to board the plane and was laughing so hysterically that people were literally trying to get away from me.

Now that you've explained the context better, I'm still cracking up and wondering if you'll add something like, "Ability to bring high-level meetings to a screeching halt" to your resume some day. Or better yet, "Vast knowledge of appropriate use of questionable vocabulary in single blog posts."

Kerstin said...

I'm pretty much with the consensus here...I don't see anything wrong with what you said. Maybe not the best choice of words, but it certainly wasn't offensive and did make a very valid point.

Congratulations on the new email relationship. You'll be much happier.

TK said...

lauren - if this is a church group... hallelujah!

NT - I should run for mayor. On the group sex/ rampant alcoholism platform. Soon, I will rule the WORLD!

Red - Great. Now you're passing it on to me. Thanks.

Curious - It's going on my mayoral campaign bumper stickers.

Kerstin - Well, I wish you had been there... and thanks on the best wishes. So far, we're very happy together. That slut Hotmail was giving it out to anyone with a keyboard.

Great, I guess we can add "slut" to that list.

QueBarbara said...

By the way, thanks bunches for the "Bang Bang, Lulu" song that's been in my head for TWO DAYS NOW.

MelodyLane said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MelodyLane said...

You will love the gmail. Gmail loves you back unlike the 2 cent whore that be Hotmail.

That is an impressive list of words to add into only 2 blogs. Just make your next post happy and shiny.

Oh hell, screw happy and shiny. They suck.

Anonymous said...

Hope you used a rubber, dude. Yeah, hotmail gets aROUND. Oh yeah, like a RECORD. Hell, Lumberg fucked her.

Gmail is a sweet girl. She cleans up for you and won't throw your old stuff away.

onthevirg said...

Just think of all the wannabe rap artists you'll attract w/ that kind of vocabulary posted. You could fire up Uncooked Meat Records!

By the way you had a legitimate point. It's not like we've got pre-crime squads running around. Cops usually get involved, I dunno, after the law gets broken.

Jez said...

First off, I think the use of the word "gangbang" was appropriate. And the police officers in the room probably have respect for you because you stated it as such. Even though they probably would have used the word "assbeating" versus "gangbang." In this case, if you would have used "assbeating," I think you would have just sailed right along. Nothing wrong with sensationalism used this way.
In business settings, however, you usually can't get away with that shit unless people expect it from you.

Example: I used to go to a morning production meeting in a papermill where the head of the paper and converting departments would show his displeasure with something by calling it various types of animal shit; "chickenshit procedures", "running horseshit on the papermachines" until it got to the point where it wasn't shocking anymore. Nobody really said anything about it.

This particular manager helped me out, though, by realizing that if he could be a manager, then there was nothing standing in my way but my own fears.

Jez said...
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country roads said...

actually, makes perfect sense what you said. And gangbang drove the point home (baha) about what you were saying. They should get over themselves.

and now, I too have the bang bang Lulu song in my head. It's like 6th grade all over again.

Jez said...

And anyway, wasn't it Mike Cooley of DBT who said:

And don't ever let them make you feel like saying what you want is unbecoming
If you were supposed to watch you're mouth all the time I doubt your eyes would be above it

TK said...

well, thanks for the support, folks. Alas, I don't think the city council, nor DYS, is quite as open-minded as y'all.

QB - thankfully, I don't think I know that song.

Melody - I don't do happy and shiny.

Mortarbored - I'm gonna try and show gmail my O face. Ohhh... ohh...

OTV - Uncooked Meat is going gangsta.

Jez - I envy the lack of stuffiness in your work environment.

Country Roads - Yeah. Right. Because I did it for emphasis, not because I'm a socially inept foul mouthed goof.

Jez (again) - A Drive By Truckers reference? Oh, that made my morning.

dmbmeg said...

gmail!!! now i can stalk you for reals.