Thursday, May 03, 2007

Are you crazy? Is that your problem?

Martita Goshen, Interpretive Dancer - on Barbaro*:
"Barbaro was in many dimensions," she says. "He looked at the whole picture. That's why he had that stumble at the Derby. He was ahead of the moment. The Zen of that. That's dancing. For the rest of my life, I'll be working to move with that innocence." Many years ago on a voyage off the coast of San Diego, she came face to face with the eye of a whale. She saw all of humanity in that eye, the rise and fall of civilizations, love, hate, power, glory, ugliness, beauty, lies, truth. This realization has taken her all over the planet, trying to help save the creatures she holds dear by raising environmental awareness. ... "[Barbaro] a great messenger," she said. "He's the greatest dancer I've seen since Baryshnikov or Nureyev."

"I was just as terrified when I met Barbaro as when I met the Dalai Lama," she says.
I hope I speak for us all when I say:

IT'S. A. FUCKING. HORSE.

Sweet merciful crap, these people really need some goddamn perspective. Don't get me wrong - I love animals. I truly do. God knows I have enough of them wandering around the ole' Meat Factory (that may have come out wrong). But the level of anthropomorphism that has come about regarding Barbaro is absolutely insane. Much as Ms. Goshen is completely off her nut. Thousands starve and suffer and die across the globe, and you're comparing a horse to the Dalai Lama. I'm not saying that people need to dedicate their lives to helping the world, but there are certainly better fucking ways to spend your time than deifying a goddamn horse. For more Barbaro related lunacy, check out this video. I'm not embedding it because... well, because it's a Michael Bolton song and just saying his name makes me nauseous. But do me a favor and just read the comments on it. It's a terrifying glimpse into the minds of the seriously creepy.

*courtesy of ESPN, via Deadspin


That's more like it.

5 comments:

Manny said...

Ho-lee-shit. I just checked out the link and these are some spectacularly insane people.

I mean, I love my dog. If something happened to Thor I'd be pretty upset......

Then I'd go back to the pet store and buy another one.

"May the wings of liberty never lose a feather".

onthevirg said...

These people (as Deadspin has extensively documented) are Manson level crazy. Every time I see a house with 25 cats hanging around the outside I wonder what kind of psychopath lives inside, waiting for the day she and her "children" can take over the world. Maybe this loon means dancer = dog food?

Daphne said...

I couldn't even get through that video. That's just......wow. No words.

But, in the interest of full disclosure, I have never owned a dog or cat or hamster or goldfish, and have absolutely no desire to do so. Therefore, I do not and never will understand the devotion some have for their pets. I mean, when you have to be out of work for multiple days because your dog died, or you can barely keep it together in the office, or you would rather keep your dog alive even though he or she is blind, 30 gazillion years old, in poor health, is in obvious pain or discomfort, and can barely WALK, because YOU don't want to be without the damn dog? That's the kind of devotion I'll never get.

Sorry for the rant, as I know you're a proud dog lover. Just needed to get it out.

A Bowl Of Stupid said...

Damn you all to hell, you Blasphemers!!

Barbaro just exemplifies what God (an absurdly wealthy breeder) is capable of. Something so beautiful, so graceful, so strong, can only be the product of an omniscient force (years of forced hormonal and steroidal therapies).

You people can think what they want, "he was just a horse", or "too big a deal is made", but the fact is that God created Barbaro the way he did for us to admire (gamble on, which is obviously sanctioned by the Holy Bible), and to understand what He himself is capable of.

Keep running like a champion in that racetrack (glue factory) in the sky.

N.B. As an aside, if this were WordPress, I'd have been able to use strikeouts instead of parentheticals, thus increasing the overall comedic value of this comment. Not complaining, just noting how sucky Blogger is.

dmbmeg said...

None of you apparently have experienced the love the can be shared between a woman and a horse...i mean, yeah, total crazies!