Thursday, May 31, 2007

There is no normal life. There's just life.

Yeah, so I haven't written anything in a while. I'd love to say it's because I've been monumentally busy*, but that's just not true. The truth is that once the weather breaks, I spend as much time as possible outside - I stop watching TV, stop goofing off on the computer (for the most part), and just bask in sunny goodness as much as I can. Fortunately, I even have a job that demands I spend a fair amount of time outside. But my weekends are now devoted to barbecues, baseball games, and mowing the lawn.

But I've been thinking about something for a while. It struck me a few days ago... I was sitting on my back porch, sipping the first of a few beers, watching the dogs wrestle on the lawn and listening to the Red Sox on the radio, with the sounds of suburbia in the background. It was a picture of tranquility. It was almost heavenly. And something popped into my head...

"How the hell did my life come to this?"

It's really sort of bizarre. I mean, I spent a good deal of my life growing up in a suburb just outside of Boston, wishing to get out of there, wanting desperately to live in the city. I went to college in Madison, Wisconsin. Not a bustling urban mecca exactly, but not a corn field in Iowa either. I lived in Boston, in Cambridge, in Philadelphia. I loved the city. From the age of 15 to 22 my life consisted of school, punk rock shows and extensive and varied drug use. For god's sake I used to have purple hair, four piercings and buy my clothes exclusively at the Army-Navy store. I went to grungy bars and drank myself senseless on a regular basis, while sporting Misfits t-shirts and Minor Threat posters on my walls.


Now? I live on a street so quiet that it's almost eerie. I turn the radio in my car down when I turn onto my street because I don't want to bother the neighbors. I fret over my lawn. I get annoyed at my neighbor when he doesn't do something about his dandelion problem. My idea of a great night is a barbecue with my wife, followed by a quiet drink on the porch while listening to a baseball game. I avoid loud bars like the plague, and I've been to 2 concerts in the last ten years. For fuck's sake, the kids down the street come over routinely so they can play in my back yard with my dogs. What the hell? Ten years ago, I'd have said that letting your kids come to my house was a surefire way to begin their descent into hell. I have a garage full of equipment for maintaining my yard. I chat with the neighbors about schools and property values. I have a career. Jesus, I have employees. Don't these people know that I'm basically a completely irresponsible fuckup masquerading as a grown-up?



I mean seriously... what the fuck?

Because here's the thing. I was sitting there that night, all this stuff clanging around in my head, thinking that I was on the verge of a pre-mid-life crisis, wherein I'd freak out and quit my job and drive across country or end up flying to Singapore and dying in a haze of opium and transvestites (oops... sorry Matt).

I feel like I should have been pacing the cage like a wild animal. But instead, I simply took another sip of my beer, put my feet up, and listened to the final innings with a big grin on my face.


*quick, name the movie!

18 comments:

Manny said...

Sounds like you're livin' the dream, man.

*You got me, nothing comes to mind.

Redhead said...

You went to the University of Wisconsin? Seriously? We went to the same school.

I say enjoy the responsible adult thing - we all have to grow up sometime (well, not me but...) Still though, it sounds nice.

TK said...

Hint on the monumentally busy line - the following line is "well, I wouldn't say monumentally busy"...

Redhead... oh, what the hell, let's do it - what years were you there? I'm sure two people from completely different places in a school of 40000 people probably knew each other, right?

slouchmonkey said...

Singles? ... errr, maybe not.

Lawn (slash ice-rink in the winter)+ porch + BBQ + beer + dogs = pretty good + wife (someone to share your life with) = pretty damn good.

onthevirg said...

You sir have just described a life that a great majority of people would gladly trade you places for. You should certainly enjoy it. BTW, I too hate neighbors that don't take care of their yards, it pisses me off to no end.

dustin said...

Say Anything -- and I'm so the cheese to Ione's macaroni.

girl with curious hair said...

What is going on? People on vacation, traveling, mowing lawns, guest blogging. If everyone gets distracted from their blogging, I'll be left with nothing to do all day but work and answer my boss--which I do not enjoy.

New Texan said...

I feel your... well, I don't think it is pain. I look around sometimes and think "how the hell did this happen?" It's all good, but hard to believe that I now go to bed on Fridays around the same time I used to head out to bars.

A Bowl Of Stupid said...

Hey T, to each their own - if yer happy doin' what yer doin', god bless ya.

I'm more concerned that you actually used the term "fret" in describing your love affair with foliage.

P.S. I leave the country for 2 days and you change the format? WTF?

litelysalted said...

I've been so shitty at writing/responding to blogs lately so I apologize for my tardy response.

BUT... I relate to the identity crisis. I like to think of myself as "Secret Agent Grownup." Sure I'm an uh, "career woman" and am settled down and own my home and all -- but occasionally I still get chased by security guards for skateboarding on public property whom are none the wiser.

Boy, do I enjoy the intimate barbecues and a drink on the porch, though.

Chez said...

Welcome to the other side man.

KITTY X said...

I guess that's why I never blog any more - Kitty X no longer has too much to complain about . . .

TK said...

Dustin - cheating! the guy who runs a movie site should have been barred from answering.

Curious - I'll do my best to distract you... no promises.

NT - ain't nothing wrong with that.

Matt - I was you'd think you were in the wrong place and GO AWAY. I kid, I kid. Don't forget to wrap it up.

LS - official bad ass of the blogosphere!

Chez - thank you. I'm having shirts made.

Kitty X - wait... what? KITTY X? SHE LIVES!

KITTY X said...

Yeah, I'm still out there. I'm contemplating re-imagining my blog now that I'm starting my own law practice, no longer hooking up with randoms in bars [*sigh* I'm in love . . . and it's been a year! Surely I won't screw this up after that long!], and hope to be making enough dough to support my LV habit soon enough. Hmm. What should it be about? Finally meeting that person you can talk about your bad gas with? The chucklenuts I hope to represent in the coming months? [Damn you attorney client privilege!] What will surely be an endless search for a "legal secretary", i.e.: personal assistant? So many choices . . .

A Lover and a Fighter said...

TK, can I come over? I'll bring Other Meg...

Manny said...

The new format's cool...very "I'm drunk, it's 4 a.m., lemme tweak my template".

I kid, it's a very nice....for me to poop on!

dmbmeg said...

She volunteered me?

TK, you've gone soft on me.

Oh yeah, fuck your stupid little Badgers. Go Hawks!

theodicy said...

Hi TK...just a note that I finally fixed my link to your site: MEET is now MEAT. Sorry about that!

But anyway, please do feel free to link to THEODICY if you like...I don't mind a wide variety of visitors, I actually prefer it.

Seems like you're you're spending the summer doing things other than blogging, good! Stay away from the computer, and go hang out at some baseball games. The Internet will still be here in the fall, unfortunately...

<>< TM