Saturday, April 07, 2007

The battle rages on

Well, fuck. It was bound to rear it's ugly head again, and I guess this is the time. What the hell am I talking about, you ask?

I am talking about my recurring, on-again, off-again battle with insomnia. God, do I hate it.



So here it is, 1:30AM and I am WIDE awake. I gave it my best to try to get back to sleep, but have been tossing around for the last 45 minutes. Those of you who've had it before know - when you wake up, sometimes you just know you're not getting back to sleep. This was one of those times.

Sleep has historically been an elusive thing for me. I tend to fall asleep late, and wake up early. I require near-absolute silence to fall asleep. That, at least, has gotten better (thanks to my four years living on a main drag in Philadelphia). It used to be that if a car door slammed a block away, I'd wake up. And that is not hyperbole.

And to be fair, my insomnia used to be much worse. When I was a kid, I'd wake up in the middle of the night, get dressed and wander my neighborhood for an hour or two. Thankfully, much of my childhood was spent in a very safe Boston suburb. Through high school, sleep was difficult. College, honestly? It wasn't as much of a problem, and I suspect it's because I rarely went to bed sober.

In my early 20's it was pretty rough, but lately it's been ok. Oddly, I began sleeping much better once I moved in with Mrs. TK, which was about seven years ago. Usually once or twice every couple of weeks, but rarely lasted for more than an hour and change. Tonight, I can already tell, will be one of the bad nights. Most likely I won't get back to sleep until 5AM or so.

Of course, I have no idea why. I'm not particularly stressed - work has been crazy, but work is always crazy. In fact, it sure as hell has been crazier. I'm planning on getting a new tattoo tomorrow, so I'm a little anxious about it. But it's not like it's my first one, so why should that matter? And I had a great evening last night - Mrs. TK and I went to an amazing Greek restaurant, and in general had a great night. But that's the damnable thing about it. I don't think there needs to be a reason.

Worse, my wife has no such problems. She sleeps like a goddamn rock. I could crash my car into the side of the house and she wouldn't stir. She falls asleep at the drop of a dime, and will sleep forever unless woken up. I'd guess that it's due in part to her schedule, which is erratic at best, so she sleeps as much as she can, when she can. But she's always been this way. She's an excellent sleeper.

I suck at it.

Anyway, this will probably win the award for most boring post. But then, this is one of those that's more for me than for you. I really just needed something to do.

Sleep tight.

You bastards.

16 comments:

Manny said...

zzzzzzzzzzzzz, Wha-? Hey TK, I was just laying here dreaming of pillows, fluffy clouds, and bunnies. How are things going? Oh, not so good I guess. Well, catch up with you on Monday I guess. It takes me only a couple of seconds to fall into the kind of sleep that only a thermonuclear detonation could interrupt. If you want a really good sleep aid, check out this site.

www.gimmebackmybanana.blogspot.com

TK said...

There's a special hell for people like you.

theodicy said...

You're not the only one TK...I was a sleepy head all day, and now here it is, 12:44 am, and I can't sleep a wink! Just check out the post times on my blog sometime...

Misery loves company.

<>< TM

litelysalted said...

Unnnghh.... Mr. Salted suffers from insomnia. I am a pretty good sleeper but the way he thrashes around tossing and turning, it could wake the beasts of hell. He had me up this morning from 4am on. If there's one thing worse then insomnia it's being kept up when every molecule in your being just wants to sleeeeeep. I can't freaking wait 'til our house is finished because I'm putting a DAY BED in my office!

Ranylt said...

Sometimes I get the feeling TK and I were separated at birth. You could have been writing about me--except I'm also a "slow sleeper" (takes me over an hour to fall asleep, most nights), and my insomnia--actual real insomnia--didn't start until adulthood. I operate on no-sleep about one day a week. Fortunately, it normally subsides at most after two sleepless nights.

Oh, and--I too live with an "excellent sleeper" who falls asleep within seconds of lying down--and who happens to snore. Gah.

Thanks for the post because, as we all know, misery loves wide-awake-at-2am company.

Rev said...

Most of my insomnia is induced by my apnea-riddled, snores-like-a-buzzsaw-going-through-an aluminum-pipe housemate. Sure, it's probably worse for him in a way, but I can still be upset.

Manny said...

The next time your struck with insomnia, I've got two words for you.....Rawhead Rex.

http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0802/

TK said...

Well, it appears that I'm guilty of all the things y'all hate about insomniacs - I snore, I toss and turn, I once accidentally smacked my wife in the face while asleep. I'm horrible to share space with.

And Manny, my friend... I've seen Rawhead Rex. Twice. It's... well, words can't really adequately describe it. I recommend a Rawhead Rex/Pumpkinhead double header.

Chez said...

Any movie that feature's a kid's head being bitten off and a priest joyfully allowing a creature from hell to urinate on him.

Good stuff.

Chez said...

Sorry about the possessive typo. I'm just fuckin' beat today.

TK said...

Chez - lotta that going around.

Manny said...

I'm excited yet frightened to see what kind of depraved, fan boy movie collection we could compile if we merged our respective dvd libraries. I Hope you can get some rest tonight.

If not, you can stare blankly at your television screen at 2:30 A.M., safe in the knowledge that I'm resting comfortably, adrift on a sea of dreams.

dmbmeg said...

perhaps you should try going to bed drunk again. hey, if it ain't broke...

Natalia said...

Drunk works. So do pills. So does a lot of turkey. You could do all three, really.

Hey, I'll be a friend, try it out, and get back to you with the results.

girl with curious hair said...

When I initially read this, I thought, "Poor guy, glad I haven't had insomnia in a while." HA! Since the very next night I have had trouble sleeping. Add to that, my natural tendency to not be cheerful before 8 am and you'll realize how angry I am at my husband for snoring away the night right now. That, and I have to be up in about three hours to catch a flight. GRRRRR.

Hope you're able to sleep--or sleep in.

A Bowl Of Stupid said...

All types of sleeping issues with you, kid. Be careful with that.

Hope you're doing well, and for future reference, KY jelly is much better on your toothbrush than hair gel (just another tip from your uncle Matt).

(Yes, in case you're wondering, the surf dropped to nada, so I have a BUNCH of time on my hands). I'll be back in the States soon for a hugfest - I'll tell you all about my journies, at least one of which will be entitled "How to to Ask for A Tow Truck In Spanish In the Middle of Nowhere", otherwise subtitled "Over the Woods & THROUGH The River - In a 2 wheel drive Hyundai".