Well, fuck. It was bound to rear it's ugly head again, and I guess this is the time. What the hell am I talking about, you ask?
I am talking about my recurring, on-again, off-again battle with insomnia. God, do I hate it.
So here it is, 1:30AM and I am WIDE awake. I gave it my best to try to get back to sleep, but have been tossing around for the last 45 minutes. Those of you who've had it before know - when you wake up, sometimes you just know you're not getting back to sleep. This was one of those times.
Sleep has historically been an elusive thing for me. I tend to fall asleep late, and wake up early. I require near-absolute silence to fall asleep. That, at least, has gotten better (thanks to my four years living on a main drag in Philadelphia). It used to be that if a car door slammed a block away, I'd wake up. And that is not hyperbole.
And to be fair, my insomnia used to be much worse. When I was a kid, I'd wake up in the middle of the night, get dressed and wander my neighborhood for an hour or two. Thankfully, much of my childhood was spent in a very safe Boston suburb. Through high school, sleep was difficult. College, honestly? It wasn't as much of a problem, and I suspect it's because I rarely went to bed sober.
In my early 20's it was pretty rough, but lately it's been ok. Oddly, I began sleeping much better once I moved in with Mrs. TK, which was about seven years ago. Usually once or twice every couple of weeks, but rarely lasted for more than an hour and change. Tonight, I can already tell, will be one of the bad nights. Most likely I won't get back to sleep until 5AM or so.
Of course, I have no idea why. I'm not particularly stressed - work has been crazy, but work is always crazy. In fact, it sure as hell has been crazier. I'm planning on getting a new tattoo tomorrow, so I'm a little anxious about it. But it's not like it's my first one, so why should that matter? And I had a great evening last night - Mrs. TK and I went to an amazing Greek restaurant, and in general had a great night. But that's the damnable thing about it. I don't think there needs to be a reason.
Worse, my wife has no such problems. She sleeps like a goddamn rock. I could crash my car into the side of the house and she wouldn't stir. She falls asleep at the drop of a dime, and will sleep forever unless woken up. I'd guess that it's due in part to her schedule, which is erratic at best, so she sleeps as much as she can, when she can. But she's always been this way. She's an excellent sleeper.
I suck at it.
Anyway, this will probably win the award for most boring post. But then, this is one of those that's more for me than for you. I really just needed something to do.