Maybe it's just me. I dunno, you guys be the judge. But I was at my friendly neighborhood Eastern Mountain Sports last night (so! much! gear!.... thatiwantbutdon'tneed) and had to use their restroom after a day of waaaaaay too much coffee. Anyway, posted above the urinal is this sign:
I literally cackled while peeing, which was strange and uncomfortable and kind of almost messy. There is so much awesome in this one simple sign that I don't know how to begin. But I shall try:
1) That second sentence - I mean, damn. I thought that I overused the comma, but she is being flat-out
abused there.
2) So, basically, this is telling us that we should not drink water from this toilet. Or any toilet in this facility (aka the Patriot Place Mall in Foxboro, MA).
... This is something that required notification? Does that imply that it's perfectly acceptable to drink from the toilet anywhere else? Just not here? Are fucking
dogs shopping here?
3) In addition to the solid recommendation that we not drink the toilet water, they also suggest (rather passively I might add) that we avoid touching the toilet water. Thank God, because usually I head into a public restroom and promptly wash my face in the toilet. WHAT THE HELL, PEOPLE?!
4) The Department Environmental Protection Policy Code is "BRP/DWM/PEP-POO-3." Seriously? The code for "don't drink or bathe in the toilet, you filthy bugger" ends in "PEP-POO"?? Say that out loud.
Now do it without giggling.
If you succeeded, you are far more mature than I am.
I love that, as a society, we need to be warned that we shouldn't drink or touch the toilet water because it's recycled water...
not because IT'S FUCKING TOILET WATER YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG!!!!!!
Sigh.
Anyway, I had to share.
----------------
Listening to:
Drive-By Truckers - Why Henry Drinksvia FoxyTunes
