Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Into the Great Wide Open

Dear all American airline companies:

I hope you eat burning feces in Hell.



In case you were wondering, the trip to Seattle wasn't so good. Once we GOT there, it was spectacular. Better, in fact. Orcas Island, where we stayed Friday and Saturday night for the wedding, is breathtakingly gorgeous. Mountains, forests, beautiful, glassy waters that you can see straight to the bottom of. Quaint little towns that serve food that made me want to swoon. Friday night we went to a "Paella party" at one of the beaches, where someone cooked a gigantic cast-iron pan of paella - enough to feed over 50 people. It, also, made me want to swoon.

Saturday I ate Salmon Benedict for breakfast. It came with avocado, and I'm weeping thinking about it right now. Then we walked around a bit, then Mrs. TK and I and another couple of friends went kayaking, where we saw seals and roughly 2,000 starfish of varying colors and sizes. I also got to leap off big rocks into the ocean. That night was the wedding, which was also lovely - picturesque, fun, and more good food and drink.

So overall, the time there was amazing. The time getting there, however... not so much. I don't want to get into it too much, because it will make me seethe with rage and begin biting people's faces... which is what I do when I think about air travel in general. But allow me to sum it up with one simple fact:

We were leaving from Boston, MA. Flying to Seattle, Washington.

We spent seven (SEVEN!) hours... in Greensboro, South Carolina. Why, you ask? That's an excellent question. The answer, of course, is because THERE IS A GOD WHO IS AN EVIL, MALEVOLENT BASTARD AND HE CURSES MY EVERY WAKING FUCKING MOMENT.

Door to door, the trip out there took about 15-16 hours. I wanted to kill everyone around me. Then bring them back from the dead so I could kill them again.

Anyway. I've got some pictures that I'll post later.

By the way, I'm doing the "Pajiba Love" daily bit over at Pajiba this week, since Stacey's on vacation. Take a look if you've got a moment. Click here for today's.


Felicia said...

Good God that food sounds delicious!! I'm glad someone else in the world has as much rage as I do. High five!

Jez said...

Um, I have to ask...did you get avacado on your shirt?


New Texan said...

Yes, well, of course you were stuck there for 7 hours. You were in an alternate universe where Greensboro SOUTH Carolina has an airport. In this universe, the Greensboro airport is in NORTH Carolina. Also, in this universe, American Airlines' average delay is only 4 hours.

hehehe... sorry, couldn't help myself.

But hey, JD Drew won the All Star Game MVP, so life is back to good, right?

Anonymous said...

Or that would be Greenville, SC. And that is much more likely a layover spot than Greensboro, NC.

And since it was a layover from hell, I'm guessing it is definitely Greenville, SC. Which is too bad, because I live, like, 45 minutes from there and could at least have brought you drugs....


New Texan said...

There is a flight from Greenville SC to Seattle??? No way. When I lived in Columbia, you could basically fly to Charlotte or Atlanta to catch a connecting flight, and that was it.

TK said...

Jesus Christ, people. Greenville, Greensboro, what goddamn difference does it make? I WAS IN SOUTH CAROLINA!!! FOCUS, DAMMIT!

Anyway, we were diverted there because we were SUPPOSED to fly through Atlanta, but ATL had weather issues.

You people are making me stabby, I swear.

Miss_E said...

Well, I am glad to hear that you at least had a nice time once you got here (WA). I live near Anacortes, and we have been having unusually spectactually weather lately, so you got to see the good side of the Pacific Northwest.

Kolby said...

Hey! My sister lives in Greenville. I didn't know they even had an airport!

Back on topic - glad you had a fun time, sorry the trip was shitty.

kelsi said...

it's almost as if they were *trying* to make you stabby. hm...