Eat, eat, you fucking jackals...

I can't actually believe I'm posting this. But due to my writing about it somewhere else, a couple of people have asked for this. "This" being the recipe for the beans and rice that I made on Sunday.

I have a fairly eclectic group of friends, all of which can cook pretty damn well. Our Super Bowl party (where everyone made something) consisted of St. Louis-stlye ribs, home-made corn dogs, some sort of Chinese-style deep fried pork, Chili, homemade cream cheese-filled chocolate cupcakes, and chicken wings with homemade barbecue sauce. And, the rice I made.

Incidentally, this recipe could end up a total disaster. I made the dish up on the spot, without measuring anything, so the measurements are just guesses. It's worth noting that this is ridiculously unhealthy, and possibly dangerous. It's also potentially spicy as a motherfucker, so be wary and reduce spicy stuff if you're a wuss sensitive. But my friends loooooved it (as did I), so here goes:

TK’s Glorious Rice and Beans of Super Bowl Failure

Ingredients:

1 Box Goya® Arroz Amorillo Spanish-style Yellow Rice (family size)

1 Ham Hock

¾ Pound Chicken Thighs (trim off as much fat as you can), cut into chunks

½ Pound Chorizo Sausage, cut into ¾” pieces

1 16 oz. Can Large Red Kidney Beans, drained

1 16 oz. Can Black Beans, drained

1 Red Bell Pepper, diced

1 Large Cubanelle Pepper, de-seeded, diced (Anaheim peppers would work nicely too)

2 Cayenne Peppers, dried, de-seeded, cut into the smallest possible pieces… as close to powder as you can make it (or just use powdered cayenne – I had grown and dried my own Cayennes, so it’s a little easier for me)

½ Onion, diced

1 Large Tomato, diced into chunks

Dried oregano to taste

Cumin

Coarse-ground black pepper, to taste

2 cloves garlic, chopped fine or minced

Cholula® Garlic Hot Sauce, to taste

Sylvia’s® Triple Pepper Hot Sauce, to taste

Peri-Peri hot sauce, to taste (you probably won’t find this anywhere – I brought it with me from South Africa. Either just use the other two, or find another kind).

Olive oil

Cooking Directions

Start by doing all the chopping, dicing, cutting, etc.

Begin to make rice as instructed on the box, except put the ham hock in the water when getting it to boil. Once the water is boiling, remove the hock with tongs and then add the rice. Follow the box instructions (reduce to simmer, cook for 25 minutes).

On a second burner, put ½ tablespoon olive oil and ½ the chopped garlic in a large pan or skillet to heat. Once garlic is bubbling, add chicken, oregano, cumin, black pepper and stir and cook until lightly browned and cooked throughout.

Remove chicken from the pan (I started out with large pieces and cooked them, the cut them up after cooking. Doesn’t really matter).

Keep an eye on the rice. When it's ready, either leave it in the pot you cooked it in or dump it into a casserole dish. Cover it to keep it warm.

If you removed most of the fat from the chicken thighs, there should be a small amount of fatty, garlicky goo left in the pan. I don’t know if this is healthy or not, but…

Add the chorizo to the goo, and let it cook on medium-high heat, until cooked through. Add already-cooked chicken, the three peppers (red bell, cubanelle, cayenne), onion, the remaining garlic, a bit more cumin (if you want), and as much of the various hot sauces as you can handle, and the ham hock from the boiling water. Cover and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until onions and peppers are cooked, but don’t let them get squishy. Then reduce heat a bit and add the beans. Let them get hot, but don’t let them get to the point where they’re too soft. Continue adding hot sauce as you go, if you like. Remember, spicy food gets hotter over time, so if you’re going to have leftovers, they’re gonna get hotter. Be careful. Add the tomatoes at the very end, just to get them warm.

Once everything is cooked to your liking, remove the ham hock and discard. Drain as much of any excess fluid you can from the saucepan. Pour cooked rice into a large casserole dish, and then using a large serving spoon, add the meat/vegetable ingredients to the rice, stirring to mix as you go. Throw some cilantro on it, if you’ve got it, and if it’s not unhealthy enough, serve with some shredded cheese and/or sour cream.

Note: Don’t use any salt – between the chorizo and the hot sauces, there’s plenty of salt built-in. Any more and it would be grody.