Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Dear Tuesday Morning: Please feel free to go to hell

It seemed like a reasonable morning today. I woke up, a little sleepy, but OK. No shower-related mishaps. Mrs. TK was kind enough to get up before me and take care of the animals, even though she has the day off.

Of course, as soon as I left the house, everything fell apart.

Got to Dunkin Donuts for my morning coffee. Parked the car. Grabbed the empty cup from yesterday's coffee and got out. On my way to the trashcan, I also got my wallet out, just to make sure I had money. I made my way into the Dunkies, got up to the counter, ordered my coffee and then I realized (along with Sonia, the very sweet woman who makes my coffee every morning) that I was standing there, expecting to pay with an empty coffee cup.

Because on my way inside, I had this weird, crossed-wire brain hiccup. And thus, I had apparently thrown my wallet into the trash.


The worst part is, this type of shit happens all the time. My brain can't handle two activities if it's too early. I mean, I've done things like pour juice right onto the counter because I forgot to take a glass out of the cupboard. I've put the milk in the cupboard and the cereal box in the fridge. For Christ's sake, I once walked out of the house on a winter day with no shoes on.

I should really never leave the house.

Anyway. I got to work and only spilled my coffee on myself once, which is a step up from yesterday. Walk into my office and... it's freezing. Awesome. Now, my office is always cold - I like to think it's God getting back at me for setting fires as a child.

But today, it was extra special super cold. So I grabbed the space heater that I swiped from the office of a guy we fired a few months ago, plugged it in, and turned it up just a wee, baby little bit. And promptly my office lost power.

As did the three offices next to mine.

Oh, and one of those? Belongs to my boss.

It's been a banner fuckin' morning, folks.

Listening to: The Black Keys - 10 A.M. Automatic
via FoxyTunes


A Lover and a Fighter said...

oh my goodness. my poor little friend. Just swaddle yourself in bubble wrap, crouch down, and wait out the day. I've had this morning- it doesn't really get any better from here.

lordhelmet said...

Been there. Went on a retreat with the Mrs. and dutifully emptied all the garbage out of the car, wallet and all. Had to dismantle the garbage can and search through 3 inches of fluid to find it, after which all the cards got thoroughly cleaned in the hotel room. The wallet has since been decommissioned. And mornings - don't talk to me about mornings. I decided to make pancakes - so I pulled out the garbage can for the shells and promptly cracked 2 eggs into the garbage can and tossed the shells right in! Then looked at the mixing bowl and wondered why it was so empty...I'm with L&F on this one, but if you're cold maybe add a blanket or thick jacket. Some days you just know you shoulda stood in bed.

nancy said...

The Black Keys should make it alllll better.

Girl With Curious Hair said...

The trick is to find a way to stay in the comfy, safe cocoon of your home.

I hope Wednesday is better.

country roads said...

wow..I thought I was the only person that got my hands mixed up when throwing things away. I do feel a lot better about having to take that extra minute and think about what I'm doing.

And, I'm only laughing a little on the inside.