Farewell

Rest in peace, Amanda (aka Alabama Pink).



I'm not great at eulogizing, so I'll leave it up to those more eloquent than I. Please click here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And most of all here, but... steady yourself before clicking on that one.

Finally, our Pajiba tribute is here.

Amid the chaos of that day, when all I could hear was the thunder of gunshots, and all I could smell was the violence in the air, I look back and am amazed that my thoughts were so clear and true, that three words went through my mind endlessly, repeating themselves like a broken record:

You're so cool.

You're so cool.

You're so cool.

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Now playing: Gaslight Anthem - Even Cowgirls Get The Blues
via FoxyTunes

Back From Tejas

Well, actually, I got back on Tuesday, but the last two days have been recovery days. Sweet mercy, what a trip. Easily one of the top five vacations ever. The Pajibites are the absolute balls, and we had a great time. Sure, I didn't see much music or movies, which, considering that it's a music and movie festival, is a little weird, but whatever.

Things I did do:

Get raving drunk. Repeatedly.

Eat a minimum of 7 burritos in four days.

Eat my weight in barbecue.

Avoid hard liquor, except for a couple of Jameson's with the Boozehound, Ted Boynton.

Get a new tattoo. My first impulse tattoo in a long time, and I love it. I was like the Pied Piper of tattoos - next thing you know, four others in our group had 'em as well. I take no responsibility, and will not accept angry phone calls from wives and/or mothers.

Saw Sam Raimi's upcoming horror flick, Drag Me To Hell. It was fantastic. Phenomenal. Scary and hilarious. I literally yelped at one point, much to the amusement of those around me (shut up, Henry). Anyway, I might review it for the site when it comes out, but either way, I look forward to seeing it again.

Words cannot convey the awesomeness

Anyway, that's the short version. It was exhausting, but great. Oh, and in case anyone's curious -- every news post I wrote for Pajiba this week, I wrote while drunk.

I think I need to dry out for a while.

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Now playing: ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead - Days of Being Wild
via FoxyTunes

Greetings from Texas!

Well, day one of my time at SXSW is now behind me. It's been... hectic. In a good way.

Friday night I went out with Mrs. TK and some friends for a fantastic dinner and drinks evening (to celebrate my birfday on Saturday), part of which included, I kid you not, grasshopper empanadas. With actual grasshoppers. They were goddamn delicious, so "ewww" all you want. Of course, we got home late, which made the fact that I had to be up at 3:30 AM the following morning all the more brutal.

But I soldiered through it, and with a surprisingly debacle-free journey, made it to Austin on time. One thing I did NOT realize until I was in the airport in Boston - it's Spring Break. Holy fuck. What a nightmare. 1000's of college kids swarming the airports, like hormonal locusts with poor diction. It was pretty crazy.



Anyway. Austin. I've yet to see any movies or music acts, but that's because for me yesterday was a mostly getting-to-know-you kind of day. Actually, a better description would be that it was a getting-to-know-you-by-getting-completely-shitbombed-with-you kind of day. But most of the Pajiba writers were there - Prisco, Rowles, Nosek, ShepRitz, Boozehound/Boynton, Freilich and Stephens. It was, in short, a fucking blast. I ate nothing but burritos for three meals (what? I like burritos, OK? DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!), drank... um... a bit, and a grand time was had by all. Got to meet a couple of Pajiba readers, who were awesome. Went to a dirt-hole of a karaoke bar and witnessed the glory of ShepRitz and Prisco singing "Bust a Move" and Dustin belting out a howlingly drunken rendition of "Sweet Caroline," complete with all of us providing backing vocals. It was quite a scene.

Anyway, that was Austin in brief. It's been grand. On today's docket: going to Ginny's Little Longhorn Saloon to see Dale Watson, as well as possibly play chickenshit bingo. What's that, you ask?



Yeah. I'm excited about it too. Tonight, I might catch a movie. Or I might just fire down some bbq and some cheap Texas beer and have a goddamned ball. Either way, I'm happy.

Movies and Music and Jobs and More Music

Some stuff rattling around right now:

First, I wrote an article on Pajiba on my favorite instrumental songs. That is to say, not my favorite pieces, but my favorite songs by bands that usually sing, but in this instance, didn't. Oh, shut up and go read it. CLICK, punks!

Second, I'm hiring again. I'm mired in resumes, and it's fucking exhausting. I can't even begin to tell you how tiring it is. I was briefly toying with doing another goofy-assed resume post, but... it's different this time. It's actually really depressing this time around, because I know a lot of these applicants just lost their jobs to layoffs and downsizing and all the other casualties of a Bush-botched economy. So it's harder to take the usual amount of glee that I once did in reviewing them. I mean, this is an entry-level position. The last time I posted for it, I got about 25 responses. This time? 120. Most of them people completely unqualified, or worse, completely overqualified. It's pretty sad stuff. And thus, I'm not going to make a mockery of those people, even if they'll never know. It just wouldn't feel right. Sorry.

Third, SOUTH BY FUCKING SOUTHWEST!! For those who don't know, SXSW is a weeklong music and movie festival in Austin, TX, and I am going. On Saturday.

My broke ass could only afford to go for four days, but it should be a riotous four days. I'm meeting most of the Pajiba folks there, and it should be a rocking good time.

That's about it. Hell, that's quite a bit. Oh, I've got an album review going up tomorrow, too, so check Pajiba around noon for that tomorrow.

Adios.

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Now playing: Tommy Guerrero - organism
via FoxyTunes

Take a hike, Lynda Carter

Because my geekiness knows no limit, I wrote a review of the new Wonder Woman animated movie over at Pajiba.

Oh, fucking shut it.



Click here for the review.

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Now playing: The Receiving End of Sirens - War of All Against All
via FoxyTunes

When all else fails... puppies

Kneel before the cuteness:






I mean, seriously now. That's just freakin' ridiculous.

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Now playing: William Elliott Whitmore - There's Hope For You
via FoxyTunes

God and Cowboys

In an unusual turn of events, I'm going to church tonight.

I realize this isn't that odd for many people, but for me it's pretty damn (oops!) unusual. But my uncle, who is one of my favorite uncles, recently moved here from South Africa. He's an Anglican priest and tonight, Ash Wednesday, he's giving his first service since he moved here. It's a big deal, and thus, I'm going. More as a show of support than because I've had some sort of religious epiphany.



In fact, not counting weddings, I haven't been inside a church since... 1993. In fact, that time was to see this same uncle. My mother and I had gone back to Cape Town to visit, and he invited us to go. It was... intense. A big reason for that intensity is that this was when Cape Town was still in the throes of Apartheid, and the day we arrived, Chris Hani, who was the leader of the South African Communist party, was assassinated, and as such the country was in even more turmoil than usual.

I suspect this will be far less intense and environment. But the truth is, I'm not a believer. I truly, honestly do not believe in a higher power, of any sort. So I always feel somewhat out of place in church, as if I'm invading somehow. I know that's not the way the other churchgoers feel, but it's inescapable to me. Anyway, I'm actually really looking forward to it. It's somewhat odd that I, a die-hard, unapologetic atheist, would be so close with so spiritual a man. Yet here we are. Some of the best, most interesting and intriguing conversations I've ever had have been with my uncle, so I always look forward to seeing him, regardless of the setting.

In anyway event, that's happening.

By the way - last week in Puerto Rico? Fabulous. Absolutely goddamn fantastic.

Finally, I wrote a review of Ben Nichols' album, The Last Pale Light In The West, that went up today. Click here to read it.

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Now playing: Ben Nichols - Davy Brown
via FoxyTunes

He's a big dumb animal, folks

Three things:

1) I went to a pretty good show on Friday night. Primarily I went to see a band called Warship, whose album Supply and Depend was one of my favorites of last year. They opened for a really bizarre, black-robe-wearing, sword-and-sorcery singing band called Goblin Cock. No, I am not making that up. Both acts were really good, and as an added bonus, the third band, Big Bear, ended up surprising me to the extent that their album has now made it into steady rotation with me. I also ran into two different guys from my high school, which was too bizarre to comprehend.

2) Today's been a relatively busy day -- I did a bunch of work outside, now that much of the snow has finally melted. Then, I went to WalMart (ah, cram it). Yeah, this is gonna be one of those stories...

So we have a cat, named Oliver, pictured to the left, who is diabetic. As a result, he needs daily shots of insulin. We're running out of insulin syringes, so off I go to the WalMart pharmacy to get them. For whatever reason, I'm getting some odd looks from the other customers, but whatever. I get up to the counter, give them the namem and after giving me the stink eye momentarily, the pharmacist gets my box. I pay, I grab the box, and turn to leave... not realizing that the person behind me is standing awfully close to me. Anyway, I knock into her a little, and drop my stuff, and knock her crap (some tylenol, a bag of cookies, and some shitty looking romance novel) out of her hands as well. Next thing I know, I'm on my hands and knees, apologizing profusely, stammering and sweating as I do when I'm embarassed. The woman, and the pharmacist, is looking at me like I just exposed myself. That's when I sort of take it in... I'm kind of busted-looking. I haven't shaved in a couple of days, I certainly haven't showered today, I'm wearing a hideous (but ridiculously comfy) green hoodie that's basically covered in cat hair because one of the cats slept on it and I usually don't wear it out of the house, a beat-up Guinness baseball cap, and cargo pants that have what looks suspiciously like dog poo on one knee (like I said, I was working in the yard).

Clearly, I did not take the time to examine my appearance before I left. I realize now that's a step I should have included in my routine. I've learned from it. Let's move on.

So. There I am. Scrambling around, stuttering, dirty, with a box of spilled syringes on the floor of a WalMart. People are staring at me like I'm some sort of borderline-psychotic skeevy druggie. Awesome. I briefly consider screaming, "DON'T YOU JUDGE ME! MY CAT HAS DIABEETUS! DO YOU WANT HIM TO DIE?! DO YOU?!" But I don't, because there's no need to add WalMart to the already somewhat lengthy list of places I've been forcibly removed from.

Sigh. I need a vacation.

Oh, that's right. That leads us to number 3:

Did I mention we're going to the Caribbean tomorrow? No? Oh. Well, we are. So I'll be off the grid for a few days as I swim, bask in the sun, and drown myself in rum. Have a good week folks!



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Now playing: Jaguar Love - bats over the pacific ocean
via FoxyTunes

The Shape of Things to Come

It is currently almost 60 degrees outside, sunny and beautiful. It's a preview of things to come, in the midst of a particularly rough winter. I went for a lovely walk during lunch, and it was gorgeous outside. Unfortunately, it just made going back to work worse. With that in mind, real quick-like, here are the things I'd rather be doing:

1) Hiking with Mrs. TK and the hounds

2) On my new bike, flying around as fast as I can

3) Sitting on the back porch, cold beer in hand, watching the dogs rumble



4) Sitting on Ervie's patio, watching the ships pass by in the harbor

5) Two words: Hammock. Nap.

*sigh*

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Now playing: Cee-Lo - All Day Love Affair
via FoxyTunes

Stay Away

IM debacle that just took place between me and Ervie, who is contributing to an upcoming piece for Pajiba Music:

me: well, allow to toss another wrench into them there works

(allow ME)

Ervie: okay.

11:39 AM me: guitar solos? yay or nay? no big deal either way, but I need something done today.

Ervie: oh, fuck...

me: holy fuck. that was some no shit rhyming

Ervie: indeed!

me: anyway

FUCK

Ervie: gimme a little bit.

me: i can't stop!

11:40 AM Ervie: I can pull it together.

me: THIS IS SO... GAY!

okay

yay

kill me

Ervie: to-DAY?

me: GAH!

Ervie: in what way?

just kill or slay?

11:41 AM Ervie: please god go away

this is totally going on the blog

Yeah, so... not getting a lot done today.

DAMMIT!!

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Now playing: R.L. Burnside - Please Don't Stay
via FoxyTunes

Glam metal and porn!

As usual, just a quick update:

First, please read the companion piece to last week's The Golden Age of Metal on Pajiba. Here it is, The Dark Age of Metal. Look upon it, and tremble...



And just for ha ha's: PG Porn!

Nailing Your Wife | Girls | SPIKE.com

And...

Roadside Ass-sistance | Girls | SPIKE.com

Ah, Nathan Fillion. Is there anything you can't do?

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Now playing: Mr. Bungle - The Girls Of Porn
via FoxyTunes

Metal Militia!

I wrote an entire article on heavy metal from 1983-1991.

I probably should see some sort of specialist. Anyway, here it is.



Rock on.

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Now playing: A Static Lullaby - Everybody's Got a Lil' Fonz n' em
via FoxyTunes

Whole lotta stuff goin' on

So I'll be brief.



Today has been a shit day because everyone is stupid. Everyone. Yes, you too. I'm literally blaming every single person on the planet for being stupid. I hate you all.

Not you, honey.

Anyway.

Couple of things: My five favorite albums of 2008 (with five runners-up) are here.

At 4:30, I reviewing a completely insane, ridiculous, yet hilariously amusing album at Pajiba. So check back then. Oh, and Sean reviewed the new Fall Out Boy here. That will be the last time that band is mentioned here, I promise. It's a damn good review though.

Back to contemplating murder. Later.

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Listening to: Fucked Up - Crooked Head
via FoxyTunes

Hilarity ensues

Maybe it's just me. I dunno, you guys be the judge. But I was at my friendly neighborhood Eastern Mountain Sports last night (so! much! gear!.... thatiwantbutdon'tneed) and had to use their restroom after a day of waaaaaay too much coffee. Anyway, posted above the urinal is this sign:



I literally cackled while peeing, which was strange and uncomfortable and kind of almost messy. There is so much awesome in this one simple sign that I don't know how to begin. But I shall try:

1) That second sentence - I mean, damn. I thought that I overused the comma, but she is being flat-out abused there.

2) So, basically, this is telling us that we should not drink water from this toilet. Or any toilet in this facility (aka the Patriot Place Mall in Foxboro, MA).

... This is something that required notification? Does that imply that it's perfectly acceptable to drink from the toilet anywhere else? Just not here? Are fucking dogs shopping here?

3) In addition to the solid recommendation that we not drink the toilet water, they also suggest (rather passively I might add) that we avoid touching the toilet water. Thank God, because usually I head into a public restroom and promptly wash my face in the toilet. WHAT THE HELL, PEOPLE?!

4) The Department Environmental Protection Policy Code is "BRP/DWM/PEP-POO-3." Seriously? The code for "don't drink or bathe in the toilet, you filthy bugger" ends in "PEP-POO"?? Say that out loud.

Now do it without giggling.

If you succeeded, you are far more mature than I am.

I love that, as a society, we need to be warned that we shouldn't drink or touch the toilet water because it's recycled water... not because IT'S FUCKING TOILET WATER YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG!!!!!!

Sigh.

Anyway, I had to share.

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Listening to: Drive-By Truckers - Why Henry Drinks
via FoxyTunes

Ramble

I was going to make a new years resolution to get back to more blog posts this year, but we all know that'd be a fucking lie.

Anyway.

Here's a rundown of the best-selling albums of 2008. Approximately 50% of them are absolute bloody shitballs. The remaining 5 are somewhere between "not awful" and "sort of decent."

This is why I disdain the radio so. Also, why I hate humans. Seriously, what the fuck, people? What the hell are you listening to? Where did you learn that listening to Taylor Swift is acceptable? I mean, I get that I'm kind of a pretentious dick when it comes to music, but I genuinely like some pop music. But every year, I get more and more irate with the big names in popular music. And that's because people buy their albums. Which means I get more and more irate with people.

Hence, I don't like people.

But you all knew that.



Hey, you know what sucks? Buying a brand new, awesome bike in the middle of winter. I'm really enjoying sitting in my study and gazing at it adoringly, then looking outside at six inches of snow and cursing profusely.

Ah well. I'll get my outdoors fix on this weekend when I go hiking.

So, enough ramble. Hope you're all doing well. Was this the first post of the new year? I forget, and I'm too lazy to check. If it is, happy new year. If it's not, go screw.

Peace out!

Post Christmas Post

Well, I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas and got lots of pretty. we had a great, relaxed Christmas day, and I've been eating turkey for two meals a day since then. It's fantastic. I got a new watch, which I will try very hard to NOT break, as I have broken each of the last... actually, all of them. Every single watch I've ever owned I've managed to break. This one is supposed to be quite sturdy, so let's keep our fingers crossed, shall we? Hey, on the bright side, I never lose them!

Other highlight gifts were a gift certificate to a great sushi restaurant, a phenomenal bottle of Scotch (Oban 14yr old), and, of course, the new bike which I hope to finally pick up soon.

Retard Update: We had a blackout last night -- I was home alone, watching The Dark Knight (another fabulous Christmas gift), and all of a sudden -- poof! No lights. I was in the basement, no flashlight, no nothin'. So I stumble around a little, kick over a small table, step on a cat, finally find the stairs and... fell. I landed three steps up.

Yeah. I fell up the stairs. It's sort of hard to explain. So I won't. Use your imagination.

Anyway, last but very not least -- I subscribe to Sports Illustrated, though sometimes I wonder why -- the writing is a little stuffy some times, and in general I find that I enjoy more off-color sports writing. But every now and then, they really nail it, and this week -- they fucking blew me away.



I admit it: I'm a huge fan of pit bulls. Almost every one I've met has been an absolutely phenomenal dog. And since we already know what a sucker for dogs I am, the Vick story really infuriated me (and I was thrilled to bits when he ended up in the clink). So it's no surprise that I can't recommend this article enough. Read it and weep. In a (mostly) good way.

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Now playing: Nellie McKay - The Dog Song
via FoxyTunes

Merry Merry, Happy Happy

Hello everyone!

Well, Christmas eve at work is not what I'd call... productive. But just a couple of random notes:

• Christmas plans: Me and Mrs. TK will be at home, alone, for the first time... ever. We've always either been out of town, or had company, or been traveling, or working, or something. This will mark the very first time in the 8 years we've been living together that we'll just wake up together, open presents, eat breakfast, all by our lonesome. I can't express how happy this makes me.
  

• There is absolutely nothing funnier than watching a 3-legged beagle try to poop in 10 inches of snow. It's the highest of high comedy. Poor thing.
  

• There is absolutely nothing less fun than trying to clear ten inches of frozen snow off a driveway after being out of town for the snowstorm.
  

• That said, our trip to Philadelphia was a rousing success. Few travel delays, couple of outstanding holiday parties, got to stay with our favorite people, and got to hang out with Litelysalted herself. It was quite lovely.
  

Anyway, that's the news that's fit to print. Hope you all have fantastic holidays! Take care, be safe and be sure to eat yourself stupid.

-TK


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Listening to: The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping
via FoxyTunes

Misc.

Jesus.

This kind of thing? Seriously messed up. Locking kids in a "seclusion room" when they misbehave? Particularly disabled kids? What the fuck, people. How is that productive? How can educational professionals reach a collective agreement that the best way to handle a problem - any problem - is to lock a kid in a room with little light or space?

From the article:

Michigan requires that a child held in seclusion have constant supervision from an instructor trained specifically in special education, and that confinement not exceed 15 minutes.

Connecticut education spokesman Tom Murphy said "time-out rooms" were used sparingly and were "usually small rooms with padding on the walls."

Only Vermont tracks how many children are kept in seclusion from year to year, though two other states, Minnesota and New Mexico, say they have been using the rooms less frequently in recent years.

Doesn't that seem like the kind of thing we should be monitoring, like, constantly? How often we're locking our children in boxes? Even if I'm willing to allow that there's some sort of educational/psychological reasoning for it. But to do it an not monitor them?

Let me tell you - when I was a kid in South Africa, I went to a school where we were beaten with canes for misbehaving. Part of me thinks that's actually more humane than this bullshit.

Mr. Duncan, sir, you have got your work cut out for you.


Well, that was just incredibly depressing.

In more upbeat news, 5:00 today is new release Wednesday at Pajiba Music. Please read, listen, have fun. We're also running a series on our favorite music releases of the year and our favorite discoveries of the year. Find all of it here.

And in even more upbeat news, we are leaving on Friday for Philadelphia to see friends and Mrs. TK's family. As an added bonus, we will be seeing none other than Ms. Litelysalted herself, Ms. Stacey Nosek.

No good can come of that.

Dear Tuesday Morning: Please feel free to go to hell

It seemed like a reasonable morning today. I woke up, a little sleepy, but OK. No shower-related mishaps. Mrs. TK was kind enough to get up before me and take care of the animals, even though she has the day off.

Of course, as soon as I left the house, everything fell apart.

Got to Dunkin Donuts for my morning coffee. Parked the car. Grabbed the empty cup from yesterday's coffee and got out. On my way to the trashcan, I also got my wallet out, just to make sure I had money. I made my way into the Dunkies, got up to the counter, ordered my coffee and then I realized (along with Sonia, the very sweet woman who makes my coffee every morning) that I was standing there, expecting to pay with an empty coffee cup.

Because on my way inside, I had this weird, crossed-wire brain hiccup. And thus, I had apparently thrown my wallet into the trash.

Sigh.

The worst part is, this type of shit happens all the time. My brain can't handle two activities if it's too early. I mean, I've done things like pour juice right onto the counter because I forgot to take a glass out of the cupboard. I've put the milk in the cupboard and the cereal box in the fridge. For Christ's sake, I once walked out of the house on a winter day with no shoes on.

I should really never leave the house.

Anyway. I got to work and only spilled my coffee on myself once, which is a step up from yesterday. Walk into my office and... it's freezing. Awesome. Now, my office is always cold - I like to think it's God getting back at me for setting fires as a child.

But today, it was extra special super cold. So I grabbed the space heater that I swiped from the office of a guy we fired a few months ago, plugged it in, and turned it up just a wee, baby little bit. And promptly my office lost power.

As did the three offices next to mine.

Oh, and one of those? Belongs to my boss.

It's been a banner fuckin' morning, folks.

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Listening to: The Black Keys - 10 A.M. Automatic
via FoxyTunes

Good things, bad things

Hey kids,

Sorry I've been somewhat absent lately. Don't take it personally. It's been an interesting week or so - between frantically scurrying around getting this Pajiba Music thing up and running, throwing out my back AGAIN this past weekend, having a friend come and visit, Thanksgiving, going to the Celtics game last Friday, seeing my sister's new play last night, and... oh! The new pretty. Please, feel free to ooh and aah:


Anyway, other than that, there are also a pair of music reviews coming up today by both me and two other great writers, Boo and Kelsi. The first is up now, and... I'm not proud of it. Frankly, listening to that album was more painful than hurting my back. That's an hour of my life that is stained permanently. I feel sick. Unclean. Read it here. The second batch of reviews will go up in about an hour.